Playing Around…. Can you Waltz with a Semi-colon?
How small can a poem be? Can three short lines satisfy.... Or should we cram the page with syllables, stuff it full of images, like a mouth overwhelmed by a Hotdog?
Some Lit Crit, where I ride around trying to make a decision...
Sunday morning walk
Bird song and dog barks
Church bell tolling
Rachel Green
Is this enough?
In the bell tower the vicar’s barking like a dog; while the congregation’s flirts in the graveyard: like peacocks they raise their skirts to the passing choir; who laugh and note the black underwear. Inside Marina and Maria Vasconcelles sing of kettles and old age pensions; her daughter Zhenya laughs a little: she finds them fun, but her own words are better. Yes! much much better.
You walk past
The high stonewall
A bell, a dog
And birds laughing
Iridescent notes
You leave behind…
Fading songs
Now far off flutes…
Later you rest
On a quiet bank
And memories
Tumble into words.
Or too much?
Once in a Rothko exhibition I became so used to the lack of activity in the paintings that when I saw one picture that some lines and sharp brushwork it overwhelmed me – much too much!
In classic Chinese poetry what strikes me is the general quietness of the poem, a quietness heightened by small movements:
In our idleness cinnamon blossoms fall.
In night quiet, spring mountains stand
empty. Moonrise startles mountain birds:
here and there, cries in a spring gorge.
While in Classical Japanese verse, there’s that sudden jolt out of the mundane into the unexpected:
I forgot that my lips
Were rouged,
Drinking
Of the clear spring
(Fukuda Chiyo-ni)
The implication hangs like mist in the air…
Here in Rachel Green’s Haiga (there’s an image attached) there’s a Monday morning rush hour in just three short lines. Are Sundays really that busy?
Sunday morning walk
Bird song and dog barks
Church bell tolling
Rachel Green
Is this enough?
In the bell tower the vicar’s barking like a dog; while the congregation’s flirts in the graveyard: like peacocks they raise their skirts to the passing choir; who laugh and note the black underwear. Inside Marina and Maria Vasconcelles sing of kettles and old age pensions; her daughter Zhenya laughs a little: she finds them fun, but her own words are better. Yes! much much better.
You walk past
The high stonewall
A bell, a dog
And birds laughing
Iridescent notes
You leave behind…
Fading songs
Now far off flutes…
Later you rest
On a quiet bank
And memories
Tumble into words.
Or too much?
Once in a Rothko exhibition I became so used to the lack of activity in the paintings that when I saw one picture that some lines and sharp brushwork it overwhelmed me – much too much!
In classic Chinese poetry what strikes me is the general quietness of the poem, a quietness heightened by small movements:
In our idleness cinnamon blossoms fall.
In night quiet, spring mountains stand
empty. Moonrise startles mountain birds:
here and there, cries in a spring gorge.
(Bird-Cry Creek, Wang Wei)
While in Classical Japanese verse, there’s that sudden jolt out of the mundane into the unexpected:
I forgot that my lips
Were rouged,
Drinking
Of the clear spring
(Fukuda Chiyo-ni)
The implication hangs like mist in the air…
Here in Rachel Green’s Haiga (there’s an image attached) there’s a Monday morning rush hour in just three short lines. Are Sundays really that busy?
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